If you could choose 5 skaters to be on your pro team who would you choose, and why?
Thanks for sending in this question. I’m glad you did because I have often thought to myself: who would assemble my Dream Team in Longboarding? It will be hard to keep it to five people though, but I’ll try it, and do my best to explain my choices in a clear and concise way.
First Round Draft Pick: Ben Dubreuil
Reason: Ben Dub goes faster than you can go, switch. Then he will do a standup slide, still switch. Then he will talk to you after and say something weird and incoherent like “ehhh man, that was a pretty funky unicycle ride we had together man!” in his traditional French Canadian dialect. Ben is underrated—bottom Line. Watch out for him because he’s picking up big sponsors at an alarming rate. He will also destroy you at downhill telemark skiing in the winter too, So watch out if you’re in Whistler this year.
Second Round Draft Pick: Adam Winston
Adam “Joker” Winston embodies Style. Some say he skates like the Grim Reaper, others say he is the Grim Reaper. Joker is an Ontario expatriate who moved to sunny San Francisco to lurk and “rice-up” with the Sunset Sliders. He then found that his community building skills were needed elsewhere. This is what brought him to Flat Spot Longboard Shop in Vancouver, BC. This dude’s steeze pours out as he shreds transition and hills. A Broken femur can’t keep the Joker down, but it would most.
Third Round Draft Pick: Brian Peck
Three words: More, OG, Than, You. Brian peck was shredding hills when you were still playing the original World of Warcraft in 2004. You might think this makes him an old fart, but bottom-line is this dude was at events when he was 12 and was raised by an older generation of DH skaters. This makes him look abnormally comfortable on a board doing stuff that makes most people get mud butt. Not to mention, he can hold it down in a park as well. Brian’s big goofy smile brings light to any session, even though he hasn’t been pumping out content recently, B. Peck still crushes harder than most. Trust me.
Fourth Round Pick: James Kelly & Louis Pilloni
Yes, I can choose two people as one pick. Its my Column after all isn’t it!? My reasoning for this double-play is that every time I see these two the competition is tight. Not between them so much, but between them and the opposing team. You see, James and Louis are also pro at another activity: Beer Pong. Living at the SkateHouse has no doubt helped propel these two to the head of the Beer Pong Wrongboard Leagues. Every event of the circuit, they are killing it. It helps that they both don’t take things too seriously and have a constant stream of skaters coming through the house to dominate on their home-base pong turf. They also seem to be really good at skateboarding, but that could just be a fluke.
Fifth Round Draft Pick: John Barnet
I’m pretty sure that John is only Doctor of Osteopathy with a pro-model skateboard. John is Legend, and no one knows why. He can hang with the best on a bad day, but can’t beat them on a good day either. No slave to trends, John Barney is a true Speedboarder. Leathers and hauling ass is what it’s all about for this dude. He’s good at everything he does, including but not limited too: rock climbing, Xbox 360, fixing people, wilderness backpacking, ball boarding, and travelling through Europe. His voice also projects to extremely far distances. Just to set the record straight, his voice does not sound raspy and hoarse like it does in that Greener Pastures video. John takes skateboarding more seriously than anyone else; hence, the reason he rounds out and completes my proverbial longerboard dream team.
The above choices might not get my hypothetical brand the most views on youtube, the most Return On Investment via website hits, or even the big corporate sponsorships, but it would however provide some of the raddest homies to share sessions with, and to me that’s what skateboarding is truly about.
GENERAL DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this column are meant to be interpreted satirically and not to be taken too seriously. To all you skaters out there, you’re awesome; please don’t take this shit to heart and then try and track me down in some weird internet-witch-hunt. Do remember, it’s all about fun.
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