Fueling Economic Progression through Corpo, Corpo, Corpo.
5. Longboarding = skateboarding.
Honestly, I just wanted to make fun of the whole “clickbait” thing today and I have really, very much, uber-super-duper, majorly/totally been wanting to expose longboarding for what it truly is when you tear off all it’s clothing (it’s collared shirt of marketing/ it’s pantaloons of hype/ it’s baby-blue panties of SPORTS!) so as to lay bare it’s naked booty for all to see. Frankly, I spied an open door this morning and I walked jovially inside it, cheerfully climbed atop this bleep-bloop interweb-soapbox thingy that is known as my What’s Next? column—and I got to the gettin’. He he!
Lastly, and most critically-crucial to my current satirical endeavor, I must state clearly that this is all playful silliness, and in no way am I trying to instigate any back-and-forth mudslingery with the “I’ve been serving’ chickens, man, all on my Longboard” camp regarding the subtle distinctions of wheelbase breadth, proper and brightly hued elbow-safety etiquette, nor do I wish to banter in regards to the cultural semantics of who rolls the biggest/best doobie after (or before) a shred session with the homiedowns. Let’s all just go skate now, have quality times with our donkboards, and try and forget this nonsense ever happened. Magic. Poof!