Notes of a Greasy Young Man: Live Hard, Pay Harder.
Mr. Greasy. Photo: Bandy
Recently, I got hit by a car while riding my motorcycle. When people tell me I’m lucky the accident didn’t take my brain or my life, I agree; yet I don’t feel very lucky. The time off skating, off my motorbike, on crutches, and in operating rooms doesn’t exactly feel like a blessing. Aside from my whininess, there are some pretty banger lessons I’ve learned. First and foremost, I would like to thank my sponsors Comet Skateboards, Caliber Truck Co, and Volante Wheels. It may sound like I’m trying to shamelessly plug these brands, but I’m not. The first thought going through my morphine-blitzed mind was what their reaction would be a potential season-ender. Despite all negative thoughts, my true friends Jason Salfi of Comet and Brandon Stewart of Caliber reassured me that everything would stay the same; even though I hadn’t gotten wrecked skating. Lesson #1: The support of friends is key to a healthy mental state. Respect to the homies. Read More
What’s Next? 9.er
Midnight garage bombin' on my custom LBL Penguin (click on image above to view larger). Photo: David Marano.
One of the raddest and most distinct features of this growing section of longboard skateboarding is that of the custom skateboard builder. I’m talking about builders such as Larry Peterson of Longboard Larry and Scott Moore of Subsonic Skateboards, and that’s just naming two of the many. Custom builders, like these, bring us back to the roots and essence of what it’s all about: skateboards for skateboarders, by skateboarders. Through creating each skateboard one at a time, and allowing the individual rider to have input into the building process, they provide every board with the attention it deserves and thus allowing the process to remain focused where it should be: on quality, detail, refinement, performance, and distinction. I’m not sayin’ that the large brands don’t make great skateboards—they definitely do—but if you’ve ever had a board shaped specifically for you and your style, then you know there is a certain pride and confidence built into that unique skateboard which is somewhat inexplicable, yet wholly undeniable. Read More
Ask McLovin’: A Troubled Shred Sista.
Dear Mclovin’,
How do i change the “hey look there’s a pair of boobs on wheels” mentality that the guys have when i skate with them. I mean it’s great, because i get special treatment and all that jazz, but it does get a little annoying at times. What do i do? Get a buzz-cut and a breast reduction? Or should i just man-up and take it as it is?
Best,
Amanda
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Dear Troubled Shred Sista,
I’m sorry to hear you’re having such a rough go with dudes oogling and awgling you as you perform radical skateboard maneuvers. I can see how it must be tough having the boys tell you how awesome you are and treating you special all the time. Sadly, unless you follow through with those sex-change plans, it wont get any better. We treat you special because you’re special to us. Most girls want to go to the mall, talk on a cell phone, and grab and expensive meal on their mate’s dime. So any chick who is down to get out with the boys and blast a few standup slides is gonna be received as a little different from the norm. Maybe your best course of action is going to be to stop skateboarding, as it is such a male dominated sport. Or maybe gymnastics, volleyball, and cheerleading are more suitable replacements?
But on the real, you can either skate by yourself, or you can just browse enough Facebook profiles to find other girls in your area to skate with—believe me, they are out there. Then you can just start some sort of female Shred Gang and run all the boy skaters out of town using crafty mind games and the silent treatment. . . Ha ha!
Or, you can “man up” as you put it, and keep going out with the boys and learn what you can. Remember, skateboarding is what you make it. Male or Female, it’s still about fun. So get out and skate with the people that allow you to enjoy yourself. Anyone or anything else. . . just doesn’t matter.
Your Pal,
McLovin’
Send all questions to: askmclovin@wheelbasemag.com
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GENERAL DISCLAIMER: The views expressed in this column are meant to be interpreted satirically and not to be taken too seriously. To all you skaters out there, you’re awesome; please don’t take this shit to heart and then try and track me down in some weird internet-witch-hunt. Do remember, it’s all about fun.
Mr. McLovin’
I Left My Heart In San Francisco: Episode 3
Greetings and salutations from the place we call home! This month, Doug E. Fresh, the Sunset Sliders Chief Engineer, brings us a whimsical edit of how the Sunset Sliders conduct an invasion of Lurkadurkistan.
Now that our Bus has her fitting-touch of color and pizazz, we have begun an invasion—starting first in the critical location of home. Stage-one involves a systematic infiltration of the local transit system in order to learn all the curves of our native environment. By efficiently moving our Wiggleboarding Troops throughout the urban matrix, we can assemble and disperse with lightning quickness. Concordant with this task is the proper exploration of the local flora and fauna as we search for nutritional sources. These include the sweet nectar of bursting bush-barrels, the protein-acious smack of driveway slashing, and most importantly, the heavy carbohydrate-load of taking in the sunset on the beach and catching some jellyfish.
Our agents stalk in fine, feline form—moving through the ether of skateboarding space—focusing on having a good time and sharing rad experiences with each other. Whether it be taking the Sliders Bus to an event in a faraway land or riding a beach bomb that ends in a walk in the sand, all these activities encompass the invasion of Lurkadurkistan.
Come join us, the revolution is now. . .
-Sunset Sliders
Yeehaw!: Pulling A Fast One In Slow Motion
Slippery Pete in San Francisco. As seen on the cover of Skateboarder's Journal Issue #1. Photo: Marcus Bandy.
Bbbbbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrpppp! You’re a snake slithering your way down a hill and ya just pulled the most cholesterol-filled, fatty, meaty, beastly, gigantor slide of your life—hoping someone laid witness to your steezery. You’re riding along on a cloud of stoke now, feeling like you’re in bullet-time: a fourth-dimension of slow motion. Every time you go for a slide, things slow down. Your brain feels like its working 110% as you focus all of your energy and balance on that one piece of a moment. You bounce from half-second to half-second as you meticulously choose your slide’s progression down the road. You later tell the tale to the homies about how you were in ‘slo-mo’ while all things sang in harmony with your screeching wheels. Read More
